The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) decided at a meeting in Krakow, southern Poland, this week to list the entire archipelago of Japan and nearby reefs in order to increase productivity and time efficiency.

“The recommendations are relentless – do you realize how much paperwork and facsimile correspondence we have to deal with from Tokyo?” UNESCO spokesman Carson Jarret said at a press conference.

“We added the nearby reefs as well just to be sure.”

UNESCO purchased around seven new fax machines in 2016 just to keep up with the requests coming in from Tokyo.

The UNESCO headquarters in Paris currently has a small army of staff manning the fax machines at any given time.

“The amount of time spent processing world heritage claims from Japan was just getting ridiculous,” says Jarrett.

UNESCO will now recommend Japan stop contacting them.

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  1. Breaking news: Due to it’s long connections with Zen and the Imperial family, who may or may not reside there, the whole city of Kyoto has been declared the nation’s first TIHCS, or Tangible Intangible Cultural Heritage Site’. A long-term foreign resident Buddhist monk, who wishes to remain invisible, applauds the decision. “You can’t move here for non-existence,” he says,.”It’s about time the illusory nature of our temporal yet recurring existence is recognised on a global scale”. When asked to elucidate further, the sage look confused and mumbled “I last saw my pet shiba-ken, Boro, in 1562.”
    Representatives of Nara’s Mount Koya, however, are, apparently, up in arms, claiming “We were the first ones, on account of being syncretic and mystical, and living on a mountain, to be recognised as not existing, even though we do. just get on the bus and come up here, and we won’t be here. See.”

    Debate seems to rumble on.

  2. It’s inevitable to include all of the islands of Japan regardless who is occupying illegally or not, Japan completes Japan with them.


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