Japan Launches “Go Back!” Campaign

Japan has launched the “Yabai! Go Back!” campaign in an attempt to prevent the further spread of COVID-19 across the country. The “Go To” campaign encouraging...

Tokyo Reaches ‘Atsui Ne’ Yearly Peak

The number of ‘atsui ne’s verbalized today reached a year high peak in the Kanto region. The average number of ‘atsui ne’s per Tokyo resident reached...

Japan To Send 2 Toilet Paper Rolls To Every Household

Japan's Prime Minister Abe Shinzo has announced a plan to dispatch toilet paper rolls wrapped in plastic to households across the nation to deal with a...

Attempts To Save Olympics Kills Ken Shimura

Japanese comedian and national icon Ken Shimura has died from coronavirus on Monday, according to news reports. Shimura, one of the country's most famous comedians was...

Japan To Go Ahead With Olympics To Stop Exponential Spike In Coronavirus Cases

Japan has reversed its decision to postpone the Tokyo 2020 Olympics in an attempt to halt the alarming spike in reported coronavirus cases. Reported cases of covid-19...

Shit About To Get Very Real For Gaijin Living In Dreamland

With the number of publicly announced coronavirus cases set to skyrocket over the coming week, now the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games have been “postponed”,...

Olympics Postponement Causes 5,491 People To Immediately Test Positive For Coronavirus

An additional 5,491 people instantly tested positive for coronavirus as soon as Japan made the announcement that the Tokyo 2020 Olympics would be postponed until 2021. This...

Blossoming Of Cherry Blossoms Cancelled Due To Coronavirus

Japan has suspended all blossoming of cherry blossoms this year due to the spread of coronavirus. “It is regrettable,” Prime Minister Shinzo Abe told reporters. The Tokyo 2020...

Japan Cancels Tokyo 2020 Olympics

Japan has cancelled the Tokyo 2020 Olympics due to an unprecedented lack of toilet paper. The International Olympic Committee reportedly encouraged Japan to postpone the event until...

English Teachers Celebrate Paid Coronavirus Holiday By Intermingling With Hordes Of Drunk People

English teachers employed with GABA Eikawa Corporation were informed on Saturday they would be receiving paid holidays for the next two weeks, sparking wild scenes of jubilation. “Let’s party!...